Wednesday, August 31, 2011


(I'm very sorry, Pilar Sordo's interview is only in Spanish, I try to explain on this
post a bit of what she is talking about)
When we are confronted with the fact that we will become parents, we start really thinking about how we want to raise our future children.  In our case, we are blessed with the fact that we think very alike (we as in Jonas and I).  I think that is basic if you want to have a balanced family.  To be in the same page.  Although Jonas and I have very different upbringings and we come from completely different cultures, the essence of what we want for our daughter is the same: we would like to raise a well balanced, considerate, confident and conscious human being.  How do we do this? I have no clue, I just have a hunch on how to start.
Pilar Sordo, a Chilean psychologist says in an interview that in the last years parents have lost consciousness of the concept of authority and at the same time have become much more flexible causing children to demand more and be less respectful.  She says that we need to regain that respect and claim the authority again, because in order to properly educate our children, sometimes they have to do things they probably don't like.  It is not a democracy at home, she says.

Anne Nielsen, norwegian preschool teacher and psychosynthesis specialist who wrote the book   "The Parental Role, You are the adult!", (unfortunately it is only in Norwegian) talks about the same subject.  She believes that we are not doing our children any favors by taking a child-indulging approach, instead we need to regain authority and be consequent and firm to gain our children's trust.
I happen to agree.  I think discipline is key to a balanced kid.  A combination of authority and respect.  We can't be our children's best friends all the time, there will be times that they won't even like us or the decisions we make, but all is for the greater good!  I want to be there for Olivia and teach her by example.  Show her that respect for others, consideration and good manners are important.  Teach her that things must be earned and that with effort things go right.  I don't want her to think that all is given and I don't want her to take things for granted either... so, I agree, I want to be a teacher to her and also a loving mother, and want her to know that no matter what, I am here for her.
Anyways, that is the million dollar question right?  What is the best way to raise out kids?  Well, I am sure each family has a set of priorities and has different beliefs.  In my own family, my brother and I have completely different points of view, and we were raised in the same house, so, this is very personal.  I certainly don't judge other types of education at home either, I am just mentioning what has been on my mind lately... what do you think? 


  1. Agree 100%, "discipline is key to a balanced kid. A combination of Authority and respect".
    Children are a blessing but is a task not always easy or pretty and it's very long term, only after many years you can see the results. Your focus is perfect and I can assure you it works. Congratulations!!

  2. The standard expression in our family after enough fuzz: "aqui acaba la democracia"... seems to be something Chilean with that expression! Good luck! You will feel disappointed with your own princples at times - but apply the 80-20 rule and both you and she will come balanced out of the tantrums. Says someone with a whole lot of experience and about to do a "double" on it just about now - you see in this game there is no quitting.